Recent Audition

Hello world,

So I recently audition for the the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, Assistant Oboe position.  I generally get all mysterious and don't like to talk about my audition process or preparation or results with people because I am insecure and doubt myself.  That being said I am trying to move past those negative feelings to be able to share them with the world.  Maybe they will help someone, maybe being more open and less insecure will help me too! 

So the MSO is a great musical organization.  In the US their are only a select number of full time (salaried) orchestras that pay a livable wage.  The MSO is one of them.  (Pressure Pressure Pressure.)  That being said, when people win these auditions they hold onto their posts for as long as they can (or until they win another audition with another ensemble).  That being said (again!) the amount of full time orchestra openings are slim pickings. THAT is for the entire United States of America! And if you have a life, or other commitments that keep you in a certain area of the country your options are even more limited. All of this puts a lot of pressure for the vast amount of talented players that are pumped out from our college and conservatory systems in the US.  The audition committees have a vast selection of really great players that line up for these auditions.  (More pressure!)  SOOOO all of this culminates to me being VERY NERVOUS and  second guessing my abilities to interpret and retell my version of the music.  Not only the technical aspects of getting all the notes, rhythm, intonation, dynamics, phrasing....all of it, but being musical and actually enjoying what I am playing.  

Now we are at the MSO audition that just happened.  I was prepared.  The list of excerpts was reasonable with measure numbers (phew! I hate when they don't list the exact requirements and scare you into thinking you have to play the whole symphony!)  I felt great about some and ok about others.  I had a reed that I loved, but nervous since my backups were iffy.  Then it comes time to actually audition and classic Stepher I miss my high D :( on the Barber excerpt.  This mistake kills  me because it is mostly in my head.  I have taught myself over time to be terrified of slurring up to a high D because I always grunt it out and miss the entrance.  This being said.  I actually don't miss the high D anymore, I USED to miss the high D, but that fear has been so entrenched in my playing that my fears like to come true.  

So my convoluted diary entry about auditions is really about this: Don't worry about missing notes ahead of time.  What does that do!!!?? Nothing!  Just expect to play the notes they way you are planning to play them.  Expect to play the music the way you prepared it.  Then most likely you WILL play the music the way you expect.  I miss that note because I EXPECTED TO MISS IT!! STOP IT!  ok enough yelling at myself.  

Moral of my story: expect greatness from yourself and you will get greatness.  Expect to mess up stupid little mistakes and you will find yourself messing up stupid little mistake cause you are thinking about them instead of the great things. 

Thank you for reading another set of ramblings from www.StepherEng.com  Enjoy your day